Here's To The Night
by Bishonen Chaser
Summary: A song fic to the song, Here's to the Night, by Eve 6. The Pilots must complete one last mission that was delayed for 6 years. rating for suicide. chapter 2, Heero's autobiography, has been added. review
1. Default Chapter

Here's To The Night…A Song Fic

Here's To The Night…A Song Fic

By: Eve Six

_So denied, so I lied?_

_Are you the now or never kind?_

_ _

Heero read the letter again to make sure he had read it correctly. It was from Dr. J.

"But how did it get here? Heero asked himself. "Dr. J. is dead and has been for 6 years. How could a letter from him dated just before he was killed be getting here now, six years later?" Heero assumed that it had just been a simple mistake on the mail service's part. After all it looked like it had been forwarded a few times. Heero read the letter again.

_A.C. 195, Dec. 22_

_Heero,_

__

_Your last mission is to kill yourself. After this war is over you will be needed no longer. Pass this message on to the other pilots. You have 24 hours from when you get this letter to complete this mission._

_Dr. J._

_ _

Heero threw the letter down on the table beside the door to his small apartment and started to walk away but then turned back. He cursed under his breath then stated emotionlessly, "Mission accepted."

_In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again._

_Are you willing to be had?_

_Are you cool with just tonight? _

_ _

Heero reached for the phone and paused before he dialed. He thought of whom he should call. "Should I call Relena and tell her what I'm about to do? No," He answered himself, "she would just try to stop me. I'll tell the boys and no one else." Heero called each of the boys and it was decided that it would be done that night. Before midnight they would all be dead. The world would be rid of the Gundam pilots that brought nothing but destruction…and peace after 2 wars.

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well._

_ _

__Heero unlocked the door to his apartment and set the case of beer on the floor beside the door. He closed and locked the door for the last time. Figuring he would just get drunk and then shoot him self or something? He would figure it out when the time came. 

Trowa took a can of beer out of his fridge in his trailer and sat at the small kitchen table. He hadn't figured out how he would go about the "deed" but he still had a couple of hours before midnight to figure it out.

_Here's to the night._

_Sweet felt alive._

_ _

__Duo walked into the bar and made his way to the counter. He sat at a stool and ordered a strong drink. Like Heero he figured he would just get drunk as hell and then just before he passed out he figured he would just take the handful of pills he just happened to have in his pocket.

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry._

_ _

Quatre locked himself in his room and poured himself a glass of expensive champagne and slouched against the wall swirling the liquid around in his glass. He let one tear escape and then another and another. He slowly lowered himself to the ground and with his back leaning against the wall, took another sip.

_Here's to goodbye._

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon._

_ _

__Wufei got out of the car and took another drink from the bottle he held in his hand. He stepped onto the deserted beach and walked toward the surf. "Meiran loved the water." Wufei thought taking another drink.

_Put your name on the line, along with place and time._

_ _

Before getting drunk Heero decided to boot up his laptop once more. He sat for a long moment and then, after some thought, he opened a writing program and stared at the blank screen for a minute. Finally he typed. He put his code name and his real name and the date. He slowly began to explain what he was about to do and why he was doing it. He then went a little further and decided to tell about his childhood and how he had become a Gundam pilot. He kept writing. Anything that came into his mind he wrote down. It would be a record, a record of what it was like to be a Gundam pilot.

_I wanna stay._

_About to go._

_I wanna ditch the logical._

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all to well._

_ _

__Duo tried to focus on the watch on his wrist. He tried to make out the time but he just couldn't seem to get it. All he knew was that it was almost midnight. He had to do it soon before he passed out. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a few of the pills. He popped them in his mouth and swallowed them with a sip from his glass; he had lost count of what number this was. He reached in his pocket again and pulled out more pills. He didn't bother to count how many. He swallowed again and again reached into his pocket for the last of the pills. He swallowed these and made his was slowly to the back of the bar. He would pass away in peace. After a few minutes the pills began to take affect and soon there after, all was silent…

_Here's to the night._

_Sweet felt alive._

_ _

Wufei threw the empty bottle out into the ocean. He watched until it disappeared underneath the surf. He slowly made his way out into the freezing water. He walked slowly going farther out and it became hard to stand upright because of the waves that threatened to overtake him. One after another the waves crashed over him, until, all was silent… 

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry._

_ _

Quatre poured the half empty glass out onto the floor and slowly stood up. He tried to focus through the tears as he made his way to the bathroom a little before midnight. He turned on the water for the bathtub and looked in the cabinets for a razor. When he found one he waited for the water to fill up and then he held his wrists under water and quickly cut both of them. First the left wrist, then the right one. He let the tears spill as he waited for the end. He slowly lifted his hands out of the water and laid his back against the tub. After a long wait, all was silent…

_Here's to goodbye._

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon._

_ _

Trowa looked around the small trailer for something to use. After a minute he found a rope. Holding it in his hands he walked outside and towards the large circus tent. When he got inside he walked toward the high wire and started to climb the ladder. When he reached the top he grabbed hold of the trapeze and carefully tied the rope into a noose. When he was finished he put the rope around his neck and jumped off the platform. After swinging for a moment, all was silent…

_All my time is full of emotion._

_Can't I stay and hour or two or more?_

_Don't let me let you go._

_ _

__Heero wrote about his life and all that had happened. He wrote about how he felt about Relena and wished he could tell her. He thought that all his life he was supposed to live and then, if God was good, die. But now he didn't want to die. He wanted to stay and live his life like he wanted too. He looked over at the clock. It said 11:55. "I have 5 minutes left…" Heero thought. He quickly ended his long autobiography of a sort and saved it. He then lifted a gun to his head and looked at the untouched case of beer on the floor where he had left it a few hours earlier. How odd, he was perfectly sober. He pulled the trigger just as the clock said 12:00. All was silent…

_Here's to the night._

_Sweet felt alive._

_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry._

_Here's to goodbye._

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon._

_Too soon…_

_ _

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Well I hoped you liked it! I had a lot of fun writing it! I was thinking about writing a second chapter and that chapter would be Heero's autobiography thing. But the more I thought about it I just really don't think I'd be able to get it quite right! So if anyone would like to write that…I would give you credit, of course, and put it in as the second chapter! So if anyone is up to do that you can write it and send it to me at, [Christian.m.hall@att.net][1] and I'll read it and it depends on how many people do this and how soon you send it to me if I'll pick yours or not. Don't feel bad if I don't pick yours because everyone who sends me something will be mentioned in the second chapter for their efforts. Arigato gozamas!

   [1]: mailto:Christian.m.hall@att.net



	2. Heero's Letter

Heero Yuy: Ryan Demask A
    
    Mission: Accepted
    
    Autobiography of a Gundam Pilot
    
     
    
     
    
    Heero Yuy: Ryan Demask A.C. 121, December4th
    
     
    
     
    
    _"Heero,_
    
    _Your last mission is to kill yourself, after this war is over you will be needed no longer. Pass this message onto the other pilots. You have 24 hours from when you get this letter to complete this mission."_
    
     
    
    I received that letter today, almost 6 years late. It makes you feel nice to know your only reason in life was to fight a war and then kill yourself, doesn't it? 5 years ago, I gave up fighting and many of my cold ways. I didn't want to die any more, I had given that up, and now I'm expected to just commit suicide? I'm not ready to die, but I am Heero Yuy, It's expected, for me to follow all orders, therefore I will. 
    
     
    
    I'm sure you're wondering why, if I'm not ready to die and don't want to, why I will follow through with this mission. I'm not really sure, but I think it's because, even though I want to live, I still feel in my heart that I don't deserve to live. There are things that happen along a long windy road of memories, which we call our lives. Each day we learn so much more and later look back on ourselves seeing all how foolish we once were. How many times we took the darker road because we were blinded. That little girl, she wanted to live, but because of me, she didn't have a chance to. I wouldn't let her live; I'm the reason she died. But we can never change the past; our bad memories stay locked inside a time capsule scared inside our minds. They may haunt you forever or until that one day when we finally wake up and come to some sort of understanding. When I look back on those time capsules of mine they still haunt me and the one thing I regret most in my short, pointless, life was turning my back on life. I may have saved more lives than where lost at my hands, but I just don't deserve to live. And now what?…Well you're left with the problem of it being too late. Too late to change because your life already had that path of yours planned and cut it off so short.
    
     
    
     
    
    I just feel like as my time winds down I should write some sort of record. My friends are also going to follow through with this mission, though I don't know why. The wars over, they don't need to follow through with it. Maybe they have similar guilt on their heart.
    
     
    
    Duo, he was my best friend out of the group, but I wont go into him yet, if at all. My time is running short and I could go on and on about that braided baka for a long time and all the stupid...and great things he's done. Duo always seemed so happy, but I could see through that damn mask of his. Though I still wonder why he wants to be dead. Maybe for the same reason I'm not putting up much of a fight about it…deep down inside I guess I really believe that it must be the only way out. Duo…no, all the other pilots, all my friends, they were my friends, in the end; we all believe it deep down…but is it really true? I wonder… 
    
     
    
    Quatre, hm. He was to kind for his own good. Kindness isn't needed in a war, though I'm sure now in this life he's better off with kindness. Quatre was a born leader, so I honestly felt like he should have Wing ZERO, and not me, but it's obvious he wasn't cut out for the ZERO, even if he could use the system. I don't know why he's going through with this mission. Doesn't add up…or I guess it does and I just don't want to admit it.
    
     
    
    Wufei, all he ever seemed to talk about was "justice." He even went to the enemy's side to find justice. I really didn't like fighting against him; he was a Gundam pilot, after all. I know it hurt the rest of the pilots that he had gone to the other side. Though, that's Wufei for you. I thought he was happy with his life now, I don't know why he would want to do this either. But if he is like me then deep down…
    
     
    
    Trowa, I never got to know him very much. I do however understand him, because our pasts are similar...
    
     
    
    We were both brought up to fight; we've been fighting almost all our lives. I was about 4 when I went to live with Odin. I'm still unsure of why I went to live with him, or why it was he I was living with. My parents might even still be alive; it's hard to say. I guess I'll never know. It's too late even for that.
    
     
    
    My real name at birth was Ryan. I never cared for that name, and after I went to live with Odin, he would never call me by it. I eventually forgot I even had a name. To remember my real name to put at the top of this paper was quit a task. 
    
     
    
    I grew up with an assassin. I'm sure you can tell that's part of the reason I am the way I am. I learned all kinds of fighting techniques while still very young. I never had a childhood. I was always with Odin on an assassination mission of some sort. I never got to eat ice cream and laugh and play. I never got to sit and watch Saturday morning cartoons. I never got to go to elementary school and make friends. How can this be I have accepted my last mission from the one who raised me to be "the perfect solider". To be so cold without feelings or emotions.Maybe it's because deep down I really want to complete this mission…I still can't tell you why, though.
    
     
    
    I stayed with Odin until he was killed on a mission. Dr. J then took me in. I was trained to pilot a Gundam. It's all I've ever known. When you spend your whole life on something, and put everything that you are into it, it's hard to change. That's why it was so hard to become friends with any of the other pilots. 
    
     
    
    I came to earth during Operation Meteor, and I'm sure the rest is in some history book somewhere. I'm sorry, our plan calls for us all to be dead by midnight, and it's 11:45 right now. I'm still not sure how I will go about the "deed". I'll just burn that bridge when I come to it. I don't have much more time to write. I guess I'll just begin rambling to get down as much as I can. Although what I really want to say may never make it on paper…I don't know if you can even put what I feel on paper.
    
     
    
    Relena.... I'm sorry I didn't tell you of my plans, but I knew you'd only get in the way. That's what it seems you always did, you always got in the way. Though, it's you we have to thank for the peace we have right now. I don't deserve any credit, someone as cold hearted as me, doesn't deserve to be called a hero. 
    
     
    
    I used to like being called Heero, it made me think that maybe I would be someone someday, and a person worthwhile. I guess my parents never thought I would be worthwhile, because they got rid of me for a reason, which I still don't know. I wanted to be someone, maybe to prove that I could make a difference. I still wonder if I have…
    
     
    
    Shit. 11:55. Relena, I did have feelings for you, though I still not sure what they were. I wouldn't call it love, but, then again, how would I know what love is like? If I could take it all back now for you Relena I would. Without love inside, I am dead inside. I wasted my entire life trying to be a perfect solider not once thinking of what it would be like to be a perfect person. A perfect person would be someone who is true to themselves, to others, and to their feelings. That would be a real hero.I wish I could have said something, but I didn't know what to say or even how to say it. 
    
     
    
    In just 3 short minutes this world will finally be rid of the 5 boys that turned the world upside down and brought such chaos. They will finally be rid of the 5 boys that eventually brought peace, in their own way, and finally rid of the ones that saved the Earth from destruction. Finally rid of those that were willing so much to risk their lives for what they believed in. No matter what any textbooks may say, or any of the history rewritten by OZ, the Gundam's were not evil. We were the hero's, other than Relena that is. 
    
     
    
    Though, like I've said, Duo doesn't deserve credit, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei, don't deserve credit. More than them, I don't deserve credit for anything good. Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei, you were the perfect family I never had. You were all my brothers and I will never forget you.
    
     
    
    This will be a record, of all that us pilots have been though. Or rather, my record of what pains we had to go through, what I had to go through. I pray, for the sake of 5 young men, that there will not be another war, and that there will be no more Gundams. I don't want another man to suffer like I did. I don't want another man to have to hide pain, like I did. I have always heard the statement "alls fare in love and war", but you know what? It's wrong. I have been in love and I have been in war and look where it got me. My life is now over; my last mission is to kill myself for I am no longer of any use. I've decided that it would be appropriate to just shoot myself. It will get the job done and it will be done quickly. I don't think I can stand any more pain than what I've already been through. Maybe this will rid me of the past pains I have lived with. 
    
     
    
    If anyone knows any relatives of a little girl taking Mary for a walk, on a colony in L 1, please tell them I'm sorry, and let them read my story. I am sorry, let them know. 
    
    ~Heero Yuy: Gundam pilot 01, Wing Gundam, Wing Gundam ZERO.
    
     

Authors note: Well I would like to thank my dear friends, Jenna McHenry and Kari Duffy. Without their wonderful talents I would have never been able to get this out. They both sent me an entry for this chapter and I liked them both so much that I decided to use them both. So after copying and pasting again and again I finally was able to put two masterpieces together. Of course I couldn't help but add my two cents, but that it all it is! Just two cents! Most of the writing was done by: Jenna, Heero Luver, and Kari, The Optimistic God of Death. All reviews for this chapter will be forwarded to these authors but if you wish to email them directly,

Jenna, Heero Luver: [Sweet_lil_devil870@yahoo.com][1]

Kari, The Optimistic God of Death: [Mokuseisenshi@aol.com][2]

Me, Christi, Bishonen Chaser: [Christian.m.hall@att.net][3]

I hope you enjoyed the fic if you wish to read more by these authors both of them are on my favorite authors list. Thank you.

   [1]: mailto:Sweet_lil_devil870@yahoo.com
   [2]: mailto:Mokuseisenshi@aol.com
   [3]: mailto:Christian.m.hall@att.net



	3. hehe

Hey! Yeah I know, I'm cheating…hehe but how else are you supposed to get people to read your stuff if it's buried under everything else! And hey, if it made you read the fic then my job is done and my plan worked!

Tag! Your it! 

You've been tagged by Bishonen Chaser


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